The German media praised the move, accusing several international bodies of water of antisemitism.
April Fools
After Low Attendance, Whitney Biennial Releases Open Call for “Controversial” Artwork
Dwindling visitor numbers signaled “an urgent need for measured controversy, neither too inflammatory nor too trite,” the museum said.
Nationwide Poll Discovers 93% of Art Catalogs Used as Coasters
A new survey suggests that exhibition catalogs and other art books are more likely to be used to protect coffee tables than actually read by anyone.
Israel Flattens Neighboring Pavilions at Venice Biennale, Claiming Hamas Hiding Underneath
Members of the Israeli embassy reportedly mistook news of a new local hummus restaurant as plans for an attack by “Hamas” at the international art gathering.
Hundreds Sign an Open Letter Against Open Letters
The missive calls on members of the culture sector to “not share widely,” pleading, “Don’t you dare sign!”
Museum Visitors Demand Refunds, Claiming No Artworks Were “Souped”
“Now I have nothing to complain about at my next cocktail party,” lamented one woman after failing to witness a climate protest at The Met.
OceanGate Launches Artist Residency in the Hull of the Titanic
The company whose submersible infamously imploded last June will ferry artists 13,000 feet below sea level in a newly built vessel called Titan II.
Gallery Owner “Shocked” That Showing Black Figurative Painter Didn’t Solve Systemic Racism
Art dealer Gloria McWhitey said she couldn’t believe minority groups were still disenfranchised, “even after all that money we spent on our Basel booth.”
Archaeologists Discover Earliest-Recorded “Like” Symbols in Lascaux
The cave drawings predate the advent of social media by approximately 17,000 years.
Guggenheim Museum Opens Its Iconic Façade for Ad Sales
In a bold move to diversify its revenue streams, the museum announced upcoming projection campaigns with Bounty, Ikea, and Wells Fargo.
Art Handlers Voted Art World’s “Best Lovers” in New Survey
“Biceps and a spirit level indicate a more satisfying lay than a turtleneck and an unwarranted lecture about 18th-century lace production,” said one of the researchers.
You Can Now Date the AI Versions of Dead Artists
Hyperallergic swiped through the Beta version of ArtAI, encountering the likes of Pablo Picasso, Gertrude Stein, and Vincent Van Gogh.